Today marks 5 years since we lost our first baby. I remember those days so well. It was a Tuesday. We had found out we were pregnant the Wednesday before, on Brad's birthday. On Friday, we told our families. Brad wanted to tell everyone; I wanted to wait because "WHAT IF" we lose the baby!? Well, a few days later we would be able to answer that question. (Side note: I regret not telling. Although his life was short, this was our BABY! We will always love him) The short story: ER doctor was a jerk & pretty ignorant. My OB/GYN is amazing & compassionate. She recognized I might be having an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy. I had a D&C which showed nothing (ie ectopic pregnancy confirmed). Did you know they perform D&Cs on the Labor & Delivery floor? Anyway, I was given a shot of Methotrexate and that night was the sickest I've ever been, either from the anaesthesia or the medicine. I had to have my blood drawn weekly until my hcg level got down to zero, the whole time fearing my tube would burst. Luckily it didn't. I am thankful for the lessons I've learned because of all this.
Thank you for reading the story of my first child. I never know about sharing this kind of stuff because I don't want to make people uncomfortable. (I mean, who wants to talk about dead babies, right?) But they are MY babies & I love them. I believe every life matters.
Sometimes life is uncomfortable. Sometimes it's messy & it's hard. I have been encouraged & strengthened by other's stories so maybe I can help someone else.
I wanted to share this picture remembering all 3 of my babies. Helps my heart heal a little. :) The rocks will be placed in the memorial rock garden at LCU. http://www.lcu.edu/majors-programs/bachelors-degree/behavioral-sciences/south-plains-childrens-memorial-park.html
2 comments:
Beautiful testimony. Very gracious of you for sharing.
I know I read your sorry before, but I somehow missed the beautiful memorial stones until just now! What an awesome memorial. John and I will have to go by LCU to see them. Kiley looks so proud, it is not hard to see her two brothers right there with her. And you are right, they are your babies, and will never be forgotten. I believe they are still very much alive not only in yours and Brad's and Kiley's heart but right next to Jesus smiling down and patiently waiting until you are reunited. All our love and prayers to all 5 of you!!
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